How to Pray Compline as a Family: A Guide to Night Prayer at Home
Learn how to pray the Divine Office together with your kids through bedtime prayers.
The church was dark except for the flicker of candlelight. As a group of clergy sang Compline, one priest got up and knelt in the center of the sanctuary before the altar:
“In manus tuas, Dómine, Comméndo spíritu meum,” his lone voice pierced the darkness. “Into your hands, Oh Lord, I commend my spirit.”
The rest of the clergy echoed these words back and they continue to echo in my heart years later each night before bed.
Compline. The night prayer of the Church and boy does she sure know how to have the last word!
For centuries, monks and sisters have ended each day by chanting the psalms. They commit their souls to God before sleep. This ancient exercise brings peace to the night and preparation for final sleep in death.
Now turn to nighttime in the domestic monastery: the postulant dumps out a box of blocks, an overzealous cantor has taken to wailing, and the abbot (Dad) is wrangling a wiggly novice who still needs to use the potty.
But mother superior (yours truly) will have the peace of Compline for her family—and you can too!
What is Compline (traditional night prayer)?
Compline is the traditional Catholic night prayer. It is the last of the canonical hours of the Divine Office. In short, it is the prayer religious pray before bed.
It includes the psalms, a beautiful hymn that I would liken to a lullaby, the Canticle of Simeon, maybe an examination of conscience, and is finished off with the Marian hymn of the season.
In religious communities it may be chanted antiphonally, that is, two groups alternate between lines. Often it is recited alone, say by a parish priest, who has a special duty to pray it on behalf of the Church.
We refer to it as “an hour,” but don’t worry, it doesn’t take an hour.
It takes us 15 minutes tops, maybe 5 if we do our short version (more on that shortly).
Why does Compline matter for Catholic families?
Compline offers a peaceful transition
Compline offers a peaceful transition from the chaos of bedtime routine to the quiet—and potentially frightening—darkness.
The bedtime routine is often a marathon around here (one that I must run when I’m tired and would rather sit on the couch with a glass of wine and a book).
There are the dirty dishes, the inevitable yelling involved in picking up toys, the child who can’t find her pajamas and the other who dropped his toothbrush in the toilet.
I breathe a sigh of relief when the kids are finally snug in their beds, and we light the candle for Compline. The family regroups. We forget the bedtime tears. We come together to end the day in peace.
Compline anchors our family rhythm.
We move around a lot, and we travel a lot. Sometimes there’s a new baby; sometimes someone is potty training. There is always something in flux.
But our Compline routine is not.
It anchors the family day in prayer. It reassures our children—and us—that however the day went, it is ending on a peaceful note. We have each other and together our sights are set on God. Come what may, our lives are in His hands.
“In manus tuas, Dómine, Comméndo spíritu meum.”
Compline surrounds us in beauty. It forms the senses.
We light a candle. It need not be in an meticulously clean or decorated room. Whether amongst moving boxes, in a sterile hotel, or a mess we’re just too tired to clean up, the candle flickers against the wall and the unsightly fades into the background.
The ancient text of the psalms and the ancient language of Latin (though it need not be done in Latin) put us in a state of reverence and awe.
The ebb and flow of the ancient rhythm put one’s body to peaceful surrender like the waves of an ocean. This of course, is most beautiful when chanted, but the rhythm of the spoken word retains a fair amount.
The effect is that our whole being is pulled into the prayer. Our tastes are being formed so that where words and intellect fail, we are ever pointed to our the Creator of the world—“be thou our protector and defense.”
Family Compline Offers Solid Formation
The repetition of Compline each night forms us in the liturgy of the Church. When we think of liturgy, we usually think of Holy Mass and we forget that the Divine Office too is an integral part of the Church’s liturgy.
When we bring Compline home, we introduce our children to the structure of the Divine Office. We give them a little glimpse at the religious life that is such a part of our Catholic tradition, of our Roman roots.
A wonderful aid for this is A Very Little Office of Compline: Night Prayer for Children (ROMANROOTS-15 for 15% off). This is a beautifully illustrated book that presents the traditional prayers in a way children can follow and love. Our children love holding their own “little breviary.”
Over time, nightly Compline forms them in something steadfast. My goal is that the habit will carry them into eternity. That when the lights go out their whole being goes back to God in ways that words cannot describe—the glow of the candle, the rhythmic ebb and flow of the chant, the warmth of their family surrounding them.
How to Pray Compline as a Family
What You’ll Need:
A source for the prayers:
You don’t need to buy anything. You can use the free online DivinumOfficium. Select the 1960 rubrics, the day, and Completorium. This is great if you just want to try it out and see how it goes, but I personally think the phone screen detracts from the sacred atmosphere and paper copies are cheap!
My favorite paper copy that we use every night is this booklet from Angelus Press. We have one for every member of the family and a few extras for guests. It’s great because it includes the music notation, the text in Latin and English, and short explanations of the Psalms.
Optional:
A candle or a book light. I highly recommend the former!
A Very Little Office of Compline: Night Prayer for Children (ROMANROOTS-15 for 15% off). This is a sweet poetic rendition in English with beautiful pictures to help the kids understand.
A crucifix. Place by the candle as a focal point.
Simple chant recordings if desired to aid in singing.
How to ease into Compline as a family.
There’s no one way to begin Compline. You can try full force but I’m going to suggest a couple options for baby steps, and you can choose which suits your family best. Take your time (weeks or months) with each step. This loosely mirrors how we progressed over the course of a year or so.
Baby Step 1
Try having everyone sing just the hymn from Compline “Te Lucis” and/or the Marian Antiphon of the season (e.g. “Salve Regina” during Time After Pentecost) each night.
Baby Step 2
Try the common part of Compline in plain spoken English. You’ll see there are two parts of Compline: the common part and the propers or psalms. The common part is the part without the psalms that is pretty much the same every night. The propers consist mostly of the psalms and they change according to the day of the week.
Baby Step 3
Add in the Sunday propers in plain spoken English. The propers consist mostly of the psalms and they change according to the day of the week. Try just doing Sunday’s psalms each night for a while. This is what Compline effectively was before changes were made around 1910 anyway so it’s a really great place to be! Sticking with Sunday Compline is a good way to foster familiarity and joy. Switch up the days as you feel comfortable.
Baby Step 4
Add some Latin (and some chanting!). You can do it! Focus on the common part first. Slowly replace prayers as your family is able. Continue to say the Psalms in English or drop them altogether as you get your bearings on the Latin. If you need help with the tones try looking them up and playing them. This is what we consider our “short version.”
Baby Step 5
This is the big step. Add the psalms in Latin. Try focusing on just the Sunday ones again until you are comfortable.
Formation most importantly the habit of preparation for death (examine as part of first communion prep).
Tips for Families with Young Children
Show don’t teach.
When my husband and I started doing Compline our oldest was only two. We did not expect him to participate. He would cuddle or play quietly with his toys. Slowly but surely his little voice would chime in, not because we demanded it but because it’s what we had been modeling every evening.
Try a captive audience
We now pray Compline in a bedroom with the young ones in bed and the lights out. It’s never a chore from their perspective because it’s a sweet delay to bedtime—like asking for an extra hug or a cup of water. It’s dark and they’re under the covers so it minimizes the distractions as well.
Keep it joyful
We do not expect young children, even at 7 or 8, to say the responses. It’s a time for connection and cuddles.
Consistency is better than perfection.
Honestly, if you only ever do baby step 1, you will still be giving your children a tremendous gift! To end the day with cozy candlelight and the night hymns of Holy Mother Church is a powerful spiritual blessing.
If you’re confused about the structure of Compline…
If you’re confused about the structure of Compline or who says what the good news is that you are probably overthinking it! You might find my post on how to pray the Little Office of Baltimore helpful. It’s a little office but the same general advice applies to the full Divine Office.
A parting word…
The candle extinguished, the postulant is no longer making a mess, the overzealous cantor is silent, and the wiggly novice is already fast asleep.
The family is out there in the world and the home is often chaotic, a stark contrast from the seclusion and order of religious life. Yet the universal lullaby of the Church holds us all together under the watchful protection of Our Lord.
